"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
two words...techno handjob
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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