So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
