Pappa wants mamma naked
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
