she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
