yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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