Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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