I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
