Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
