I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
