I heard we made out
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wat bout pragnant strippers??
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
