u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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