just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i need some magic done to my vagina
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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