worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
