I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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