Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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