i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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