So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
being pregnant is like rehab
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
