When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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