we have pet lesbian snakes
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
