we're blogging at a bar
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
