I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
