I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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