They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
