If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my sisters under your porch take her home
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
