I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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