well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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