The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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