i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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