And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I love you. Go after that dick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
