Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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