What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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