dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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