I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize