i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
