Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
