i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
