as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
