D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
