The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
