I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
