a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He shit in the fireplace
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize