Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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