Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
