we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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