I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize