I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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