I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
