he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
