Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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