Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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