i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
