porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
