By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is my gift to your gina
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
