so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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