This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
