i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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