Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
