me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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