Barsexuality is the new black.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
