Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
