That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
