My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Randomize
