i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
