Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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